A very bizarre 36 hours....

So while some of my good friends are slowing down their recent cycles of hot sex, mine is actually picking up. Since my tropical vacation, I have had a few encounters here and there but nothing that really satiated my needs in the way I like till yesterday. However, the past 36 hours have been a roller coaster of madness ....


Wednesday started with me waking up really horny. I know, not much different from any other day. However, Wednesday afternoon, I had set up a meet with a cheating wife via Adult Friend Finder. I am of two minds when it comes to fucking (cheating) married women; I have done it - usually because I follow my dick wherever it leads, but it is never the ideal situation. A cheating encounter also does nothing to ease my perennial trust and intimacy issues.

To be fair, this wife was not the hottest wife I have fucked, but I really wanted a raunchy encounter and that was all she was looking for too, so I overlooked a few things I shouldn't have and I forgot to ask for a face pic. Bad move, but not the worst.

I was supposed to be hosting the encounter but during the day, she called with an update: she was house sitting in outer borough; would I mind a change of venue.

Now people who know me well, know that for whatever reason, the hedonist does not really leave the island; for the US open, for some really good food but I am not super knowledgeable about the outer boroughs. I am not being a hater, just stating some facts. This lack of knowledge though, would come back to bite me in the ass.

I jumped on the train following her directions. My anticipation was a little hard to hide, but I am thankful for Kenneth Cole jackets. I walked out of the train station and straight into the 'hood. That little fact really didn't help my comfort level but fuck it: I was committed and on my way to the address I was given.

I got there, she let me up and we jumped into it. She was enthusiastic and she hadn't misrepresented her looks but after an initial bout of enthusiasm on my part, I lost interest. We weren't gelling in the way I like and while I like to believe that I will go through with about anything for an orgasm, this clearly was not the case ....

I politely extricated myself from the situation, disappointing as it was for both of us and made my way back to the subway... I was pissed, being the stud validates me in a very real way... and yes, I know "these things happen" - that really did not make me feel any better at the time.

Regardless, I went through with the rest of my day, a little upset and determined to get n end of day drink at one of my favorite establishments. I finally rolled onto my barstool around 9pm and caught up with bartenders and some friends in the area. 1 drink turned into 4 and sure enough, I was slamming them back and shooting the shit with new and old friends alike.

"Are you out and about" - came the unexpected text from Ms. Y, an acquaintance of mine from my professional network. She is a petite blonde with a great ass and a penchant for high heels, but at this point in time was just a very cool, yet attractive person to hang out with. As some of you know, I am very careful about mixing work/networking with pleasure... so while she was great to look at and fun to drink with, I believed that would be the full extent of our interaction.

"Yes I am - actually headed downtown for a bit, do you want to grab a drink at XXXXX" - she agreed and I rolled into the bar 15 minutes later for what I thought would be a few quick drinks.

However, conversation flowed more than anything else and we began to share war stories and dating adventures and misadventures in NYC. It turned out that Ms. Y had more of an edge to her than I thought....

As we walked back to our respective residences, somehow I got invited to swing by her place "quickly". However, the moment I walked in and jumped her, it looked like it would be a good night. I was, however a little gun shy given what had happened earlier in the day and I did not want to be disappointed again.

However, when she disappeared for 5 minutes and reappeared with some very hot items of clothing and when it became very apparent that our chemistry was super compatible, we got into the swing of things and it turned into a very late night/early morning... I certainly did not see that coming, and I'll try to see her again.

We have a compatible fucking style and I would like to explore more. I also have to admit that the lingerie, heels, sex kitten look is probably more important to me than I realized.

Then to top it all off; if things had not been bizarre enough, Michael Jackson passed away yesterday.... definitely a crazy set of events... but one that eventually worked out for me.

addendum:

While best laid plans can definitely go to hell as I have seen before, I have some trips, parties and orgies on the horizon that should be fun and should hopefully give me some new posting fodder. I am looking forward to some hot sex in the next few weeks and I have worked to put all the pieces in place.... we'll see how it all pans out but there should be some orgasms provided by some hotwives in my future.

Vacation Synopsis and thoughts...

So via the power of modern technology... and my trusty amex,... I am blogging from the air... while admiring a very milfy air hostess doing her job with extreme prejudice. It has been a bit of a bumpy ride from the tropical locale where I spent the 3 day weekend and as such, this hedonist is wide awake and at some points in the flight - a little freaked out, but we seem to be hitting some smooth patches and with Karma, God and good thoughts on our side, should make it into JFK without any incident.


So let's get down to brass tacks... there were no fun times for the hedonist this trip. I got good food - at several great and nationally recognized restaurants like I always do. I got to party with some very cool and very attractive people and I put myself out there. But my hotel room went unused in the right way and that pisses me off. Vacation grade: B-/B at best. The only action I saw this weekend was some, admittedly very hot cybersex and playing grab ass/public finger banging with a swinger couple I met at the pool.

A few other thoughts from my vacation:

Every time I visit this particular town, I am reminded of the importance of never settling. I see so many guys with trophy girlfriends and wives, bodies tight from working out at the gym, boob jobs galore, tan and blonde. Now i am not saying that boob jobs, being blonde or tan are requirements, but they do contribute to an aesthetic that I really like. I as a young man have worked hard on my body, career and mind, and when I am ready to not fuck around, I want someone who reflects that aesthetic. I'll be damned if I get what I have started to call "the black boy discount".... I believe your woman reflects on you; she says to the world, I have invested time and effort into being with her and this relationship.... so she has got to look good.

* The Black Boy Discount: that phenomenon whereby you see athletic black men with women who are not their equal in the looks department.... now I understand that not a few of my brothers enjoy the thickness, I do too on occasion, and we all do things for some quick and easy sex, but if you believe that your woman represents you... you don't want a discount.. you want a fair transaction or a premium.

Food:

I checked out new restaurant away from my old stand-bys on this trip. Mr. Bruni at the Times recommended a place in the town I visited and I hopped in a cab to visit. I sometimes have interesting experiences as a young, reasonably athletic, non foodie looking, black man. When you sit at the bar (which is what I do when eating alone at a nice establishment - you get a spot faster and bartenders are always great to talk to) sometimes people do not give you an impressive level of service, or they try to steer you to mediocre but expensive menu options. I don't get upset but instead engage in conversation and show my knowledge of the cuisine and or the restaurant or region. Once you do that, they usually chill out/warm up and things go much better. It also helps to be a good tipper - people remember that when you come back.

Big City Partying:

I got to hang out with an attractive swinger couple one night on my trip. They were newly weds from the South but very very cool. Hubby was a little older, early 30s. Wifey was a cute to hot blonde with a great ass that I got to pinch and grab all night. It was interesting.... because I had told them some risque stories of observing the opening points of a threesome in progress thenight before at another club - where I had seen an older man flash his milf wife's bare pussy to their boy toy for the evening. They did not flinch or blanch at that ... and we kept on exchanging pleasantries. They invited me out with some other people that night and we went out partying on the town. Later on while grinding on wifey, she told me they were swingers, I told her a bit about my adventures and my hands continued to wander all evening. At one point I had my fingers under her dress, while she appeared to be having a conversation with another chica in a poorly lit room, she never objected. Too bad it seemed like they are more into playing with bifemales than MFMs. With that said, I might not want to share too if I had a wifey like that.

Now having lived in the big city for a while, I come across drugs - cocaine mainly, every now and then. I have never done anything harder than weed or viagra and I do not intend to. However some people can still be recreational drug users and still be functional. I helped hubby get some coke (as in I contributed to the pot) but told him in stern terms not to offer it to me, even if at some point in the night my curiosity grew. This led me to thinking about what I would consider my 'drugs' of choice and I would have to say that sex is my main drug:

I need it on a regular basis, I plan for it, schedule it, work for it. And I go batshit insane if I cannot get it - on my terms. Suffice to say, I did not get my fix this weekend.

My Laptop is beeping at me now, and we are about to start our descent into JFK. All in all, it is always good to leave my lovely, crazy new york, but I am glad to be back.

A grumpy hedonist - A few random thoughts

I am pretty horny today and have been for this week. I should be happy with the fun I had over the weekend but it seems my sex drive is still out there. I masturbate at least once or twice a day and I binge on sex at the sex parties - multiple rounds with 3 women at the last one, for instance.

Yet I am so jealous of my blog friend and fellow nymag commenter (ladyinred's - http://therealladyinred.blogspot.com) ability to take down partners in the teens in the past month. I just looked at my journal and I have probably done about 7 women in the same span... all through my time at parties.

Women have it so easy.

As you all know I don't have the patience or much faith in the bar pickup (there is a reason why it is called getting lucky) ... the other night, out with girls till 4.30 am and no sex on offer just proved my point again.

Anyway, that is not why I am grumpy. I am grumpy, despite the fact I am about to head out to warmer climes for a 3 day mini vacation, because my regular vacation fuck buddy has gone awol on me. She is usually responsive, but after two days of her not answering texts and a phone call.... it looks like the hedonist has to find some replacement vacation sex.

Being the type A individual I am, I like to have things in place. Sex that I do not have to worry about at my vacation destination is one of those things. Seeing as I actually picked her up in a bar 2 years ago while on vacation (and the night before I was scheduled to meet with another couple in the same town) I should be sanguine.... but my ability to pick up is directly correlated to my mood and the absence of irritation on my part.

Combine that with a severe dose of horniness, tasks/errands that need to get done, a missed workout today and packing that has not been handled and you have one slightly grumpy hedonist. I'll get over it, but I will say this - it's not a vacation without some good, old fashioned, raunchy hotel room fucking and the probablity of that on this vacation just went below 100%.

I'll keep you all posted.

A few thoughts on NYC Dating, Social Kabuki and the pursuit of sex.

So, I went on a date yesterday.

Rebound Chica, as I will term her, was someone I met a few weeks ago at a random club/lounge in the Lower East Side.

She wasn't the hottest chica, nor was she really slutty. I believe the technical term is "cute".

I had hoped that after a few dates she might put out but instead she kept wasting my time, being rude on the date by texting her (male) "friends" all the time and of course - exiting early to head back to her home in the outer boroughs.

This was date #2.

I wasn't feeling the chemistry and I have no time to waste on flighty nyc girls who will not have sex but want to keep me in their back pocket (while they might be presumably f***in someone else; who doesn't have to take them to high end cocktail bars to get the pussy).

So after putting her in a cab, I sent her a text message telling her that I thought we were looking for different things and that I was moving on. I will not waste my time.


And people ask why I hardly try anymore.

I don't see the payoff, I take said female out to drinks, act polite and I get less action than her blackberry.

Of course through this all, this girl is acting like drinks and being wined and dined are her birthright. She's not on my level economically or even from an equitable looks point of view - so the only thing she has to offer is sex; and she DID not do that in an acceptable enough timeframe for me.

Yet I am supposed to keep calling and texting in the hopes that I get some (most likely mediocre) sex ?

Fuck that.

I can go to a sex party or meet one of the couples I have known over the years, not have to jump through hoops and fuck 3 - 5 women in an evening. I am also guaranteed to enjoy the sex in a way that is a toss up with most plain vanilla chicas.

Now I accept that I am hard on women. Hardest on black women. My first experiences in High School with girls were not positive and I have never really forgotten that. Couple that with my very healthy sex drive and I have become jaded, cynical and almost brutal in my approach to the NYC dating game.

I guess this means I should focus my energies on getting sex without social kabuki.

Regular dating, for now anyway, just annoys me.